Connections to more than just people…

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Too much stuff?

Too much stuff?

I have talked about relationships and connections many times.  I have talked about understanding and analysing relationships and connections that serve and support and those that don’t.  I have talked about relationships and connections with people you work with, your family and friends and with tools, systems and processes.

I have mentioned our connection mapping tool and training that helps with you that understanding and analysis as well as the action needed.

However, I think this classic clip from George Carlin goes a long way to describing the impact of your relationship with “stuff”.  Give yourself 5 minutes, watch and enjoy.  (Oh and then tell me what you are going to do with your “stuff”)

George Carlin – Stuff

 

 

 

managing or managed, connections or connected?

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How do you use yours?

How do you use yours?

There has been a lot of talk recently about inbox zero and managing your email inbox. Actually, this is not a new thing (well, in relative terms based on general access to the internet).  In fact prior to email management it was all about time management.  So let’s think this through, you now worry about how many emails that you have to “manage”.  You constantly complain about how many people are sending you emails.  You are amazed at how often you get copied in to things that don’t need your input (although how often do you find yourself reading the whole email before deciding that it is not relevant.  Oh and then of course you need to call 4 or 5 other people who also received the email to compare notes on how irrelevant it was to each of you).

What did you do with your time before email?  Surely the answer is that you were much more productive.  Well based on a Harvard Business Review article “Who’s got the Monkey” this may not be the case.  This is a great article and creates a lot of “a-ha moments” for many.  However, the most poignant paragraph for me is… (this is where you play a drum roll in your head)… the very first paragraph, that points out the article was originally published in November-December 1974 and has been one of the two best selling reprints ever.  How amazing is that?  So nearly 40 years later, this is information is not just relevant, it is seen as vital.  So does this mean that we are having an “a-ha moment”  but not applying it?

So actually email and managing your inbox is not really the issue.  There are many systems to help you with this.  In my research I found that advice I got from James Schramko for this, was simple straightforward and actionable (which of course all good systems should be).  James is a straight talking, system focused business man.  Previously the top selling BMW and Mercedes sales guy in Australia, he set up his own businesses and now shares his knowledge and tools.  James simply said “your inbox is like a to-do list that many people let others fill up for them”.  Why would you do that?

So of course it is important to take control of your inbox, but it is now time to consider your relationship with it and the tools that you use.  Whether you are on your smartphone, tablet or computer.  Take a minute to consider whether it is a tool that you are using or are you the tool that is being used by it?  (Oh and these principles also applies to facebook, twitter, youtube and all other media streams)

We live in a connected world, but how effective are our connections?  

We have used our connection mapping tool within a number of businesses and had massive impact, through understanding and analysis of the relationships (and of course the action needed to improve the situation).  The thing is, it doesn’t just apply to business.  So if you want to improve any relationships (with colleagues, friends, family and even the tools and systems that you use), then maybe taking the time to analyse and understand them will actually help you with that “time management” issue you have.

consumption v creation

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it requires action to make something

it requires action to make something

You may learn about fishing by reading a book, but you become a fisherman by fishing.

You may learn guitar techniques by watching a youtube video,   but you become a guitarist by playing the guitar.

You may understand fitness and nutrition by flicking through a magazine, but you become an athlete by putting one foot in front of the other (and repeat – a lot).

You may learn management techniques by taking a course but you become a manager by leading a team.

You may be inspired to make a difference by reading another blog post, but you create change by actually connecting with someone.

Consuming information is fantastic and can help us to understand and see things differently.  Then again, if all we do is look for the next blog post, book, training program or you tube clip and take no action then have we learnt anything?

Look at the week ahead and plan for your consumption time.  The time you will sit down with a book, or listen to a podcast or watch a video or do some training.  Now plan the creation time.  the time you will give yourself to actually apply what you have learnt, to take some action and to make a difference.

Let me know how you get on – but don’t tell me what you are going to do, tell me what you did!

Aim to connect

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Connections can create something new

Connections can create something new

Consider this.  Your best customer is your competition’s best prospect.  This also works the other way around i.e. your hottest prospect is no doubt currently someone else’s best customer.

Are you providing them with a reason (or justification) to either join you, stay with you or leave you?

Working with “customers” is all about developing the relationship.  Relationships are all about connection.  If there is no connection, there is no relationship and therefore we can be easily replaced for someone who does provide that connection.

Being competent and compliant is no longer enough for our customers.  Being competent and compliant is no longer rare.  Establishing, developing and maintaining a true connection is.

Customers do not want to be just a number.  Customers are simply looking to be in a better position after the connection than before it.  After all isn’t that what we want and expect when we are the customer?

When was the last time that you looked at the relationship from your customers perspective?

Relationships are more than a numbers game

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relationships come in all shapes and sizes

relationships come in all shapes and sizes

It is said that “what gets measured gets managed”.   We are constantly looking at our numbers.  Whether it be visitors to our website.  The number of likes on our Facebook page.  How many Facebook friends we have.  Our twitter followers or our LinkedIn connections.

Behind every number is a person.  A relationship.  How often do we look past the quantity of our numbers and consider the quality?

Successful people have great relationships.  They understand them. They know what they get from and give to each of them.

Do you?

Relationships come in all shapes and sizes and not all of them have to be the “perfect 2 way, collaborative, win – win style and approach”, and of course one size does not fit all.

By reviewing and understanding the relationships you have, you can establish if they are serving both parties as they should.  As well as a clear indication of which relationships could/should be let go, you will know which are exactly where they need to be and which need some focus and attention.

Of course this is only the first step, although very important one, as you can’t take steps 2, 3 and 4 etc, without taking step 1.

The average of 5

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5

Five

It has been said that you become the average of the 5 people you most associate with.  I have seen this extended to include the things you spend your time on e.g. the books you read, the films you watch, the places you go etc…

Take a moment to reflect on that.  Who do you spend time with?  More importantly, who do you enjoy spending time with?  Is it because they lift you up and inspire you, or because they are happy to join you in a pity party?  What do you find yourself reading, watching and experiencing?  Does it make you feel happier, fulfilled, motivated, confident, content or creative afterwards?  Or are you in a trance, just going through the motions?

Great coaches, like great friends create clarity and positive intention followed by action and commitment.  They help you to find meaning and purpose.  They are with you through all of your adventures and experiences as you establish what you want to do, be and have in your life.

If it is true that you become the average of the 5 people you associate with, then how many people will want you in their group of 5?

Short term or long term?

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The fun starts when we work together

The fun starts when we work together

A group of people within a large and successful company were highlighted as future talent and having great potential and therefore should be developed and nurtured.

They were to be placed on special training program that would see them all rotate around the various departments of the business to “learn the ropes”.  Each in turn would be placed in charge of a special project relating to the department that they were to work in for the next 6 months.  As they were moved on to a new department one of their star colleagues would take up the reigns of the project they were leaving.  They in turn would take up the challenge of the project worked on by one of their peers.

The outcome of this program was that many of the candidates did not consider the long term impact of the projects.  Their sole focus was on the results within the 6 months they were in charge (they were not keen for the benefits to occur when one of their colleagues was responsible).  When they took over a project, they would often spend the early period tearing down and rebuilding the plans they inherited to demonstrate their management capabilities and individuality.  Many of the team members who were full time employed within these departments grew frustrated at the changes, lack of direction and progress.  The program as a whole was considered a failure as no growth or development was provided to the business and projects had short lived unsustainable results.

Now place yourself in the shoes of one of these individuals.  Would you behave any differently?

When you are pitted in competition with others, there will always be a winner and a loser (or a number of losers including the business as a whole here).  Now consider how different this could have been if these people had been challenged with working collaboratively.

What environment do you live in and what part do you play in it?

 

 

Natural, Free Range, Organic Management

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Leave room to bloom

Leave room to bloom

A friend of mine has recently been keeping us entertained with the daily stories of his “tomato watch”.  Planting the seeds on day 1, he has updated us each day with his constant disappointment of the lack of progress.  By day 4 he was talking of the need to cancel the meeting he had arranged  with the man from Heinz, as he was surprised that he had not yet achieved the bumper crop he was expecting.

Whilst I have been looking forward to these daily updates and laughed each time they arrive, it did also scarily resemble many managers I have seen and experienced in the past (and unfortunately in these situations it was not a joke).

With members of staff replacing the tomato seeds, I have seen many expected to develop and produce faster than naturally possible.  The manager may place them in the wrong environment and provide little support, although they are constantly watching, and commenting on the lack of growth. They may even initially try and do the growing for them.

It is often about short term focus and results with unrealistic expectations.  If a manager takes the time to learn from nature, they will soon appreciate it is understanding what they are trying to grow, where it will best flourish and the time it takes for the expected results.  Most importantly it is also understanding the work, energy and effort that they need to put in to create a fantastic harvest year after year.

I think that’s where my friend has gone wrong, as in all of his updates, he has not once talked about the need to actually water his seeds.

 

Creating Clarity

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photo-1

still or steaming

A glass of muddy murky water was help up in front of a group of people and the question “how can we clear this?” was asked.

The first response from a member of the group was “boil it”.

This is a standard and common response to this question, and of course will produce an outcome.

Now let’s take a moment to consider the impact of achieving that outcome.  Boiling creates heat and agitation in the water. Considerable energy is expended and if it is carried out over a prolonged period of time the water will turn to steam and disappear, leaving only the mud and sediment behind.

Now consider an alternative option.  What if we left the glass alone.  To be still.  Over time the mud and water would separate and clarity is achieved.

The same can happen with our thoughts.

When you are unclear and your thoughts are muddied, “trying” harder to clear them will create heat, tension and often you are left with the mud as your creativity and clarity disappears.  If you let these thoughts sit for a period (i am not suggesting closing your eyes with your legs folded and “ommming” – unless this works for you of course), maybe taking a walk or some other form of exercise, working on something else for a short period or just “stepping away” from the issue, you can allow the glass to sit and separate and provide the clarity that you are looking for.

Are you practising the right things?

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step by step

step by step

A small child comes home from football practice and states to his father “I don’t want to play football anymore”.   The father asks his son “Why do you want to stop?”.  ”Because I am rubbish at it” came the reply.

What would you do in this situation?  Would you give the positive spin “no you’re not.  Come on, let’s give it a few more weeks and see how we get on” – or the positive motivation speech of “you’ve got to believe it to achieve it” or maybe “if you think you can or think you can’t you are probably right” or something similar?

Even if the child agreed to give it a bit more time, what is the expectation? That just turning up will miraculously change his view and outlook?

In this instance the father actually said “yes, you are rubbish at it but I have a question for you.  Do you want to get good at it?”

The response was instant.  The boy smiled and his eyes lit up.  It had never actually occurred to him that this was something that you could learn, his assumption was that it was something you were born with and in comparison to the other boys, he obviously wasn’t born with it.

The father and son agreed that they would spend time kicking the ball to each other, over and over again for 30 minutes everyday.  Pretty soon, the boy was not only a better footballer but actually found himself enjoying learning how to play football.

A good coach (or dad) will provide clarity and feedback, establish desire and commitment and of course agree the action required to achieve the outcome.  A great coach (or dad) will be there with you every step of the way and provide the support to help you achieve things that you might have thought you were “rubbish at”.

Who do you “coach” and where is your “coach”?